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Old 01-13-2011, 11:18 AM
erithacus's Avatar
erithacus erithacus is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 17

Hi polyexplorer,

I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, we do talk sometimes, and he always says he understands me. There is definitely a level of trust and friendship between us. That's good, because it means there's something to build on.

On the other hand, I do not feel supported. He might understand, but his actions haven't shown much consideration. But then again, I haven't been communicating my needs too well, and if even Joyce failed to read between the lines, I can't really expect him to manage that. Or can I? Like I said: mixed feelings.

A big part of the problem is that on the occasions we talked I have communicated rationally that things were okay. Not only to him, also to Joyce. Much less frequent I have communicated rationally that things were not okay. Most of the signs that things were not okay were emotional: bouts of crying, bad dreams, bad moods, needing distance between Joyce and myself. I once told Joyce that she should listen to what I said, not what happened when we would have major drama. So she did. But I think because of this too many of the emotional signs got ignored. And I think J followed Joyce's lead in this.

It's actually quite simple. There's a very big communication FAIL that has been going on for some time. But we're working on that now, and I'm slowly getting back my belief that we can actually do this.

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