A quick reply.
In my experience J. always did the best he could to understand and support us. The beautiful thing here is that J. once was in the same position Robin is in now. They really seem to understand each other and became friends too.
J. always support the choices we make. And right now, for example, he respects the choice we made about me not seeing J. for a while. He never meant to destroy our marriage, and in my optimistic opinion that is not going to happen either.
I think in this case I am the one who was very enthousiastic... Currently I'm trying to lead that enthousiasm in the right direction.