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Old 01-12-2011, 07:51 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Mono went through this transition (for want of a better term) also. I was completely used to being marginalized and on the edge of our culture, but was not at all. It was a huge deal for him. Our earlier posts reflect that time vividly. There were times he had a great deal of anger over it all. I don't know how he feels now. Only he can answer that for certain.
Here's a link to a thread I started which specifically details some of the struggles I have had around finding a place from a community aspect. http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1408
Ultimately I was already seperated from my old community through self isolation, so not feeling connected either way is not particularly uncomfortable anymore. I enjoy our poly community but do not feel a true part of it. For example, we have a men's group similar to the women's group that RP started. I don't want to hang out with them because a lot of what they talk about is understandably related to being poly, opening up relationships, forming new connections etc, etc. I am mono and don't think the same way as they due on a very fundamental and prevelant topic of discussion. But I have never hung out in groups: the closest thing to this type of social gathering is with guys I ride with...and we only get together when we are riding; if bikes aren't involved we don't get together.

I can certainly be more of myself and enjoy family time more within the poly community. That is 100% true. The majority of the mono community (if aware) spends too much time questioning and not enough time just letting me enjoy their company and enjoying mine.

Being in between comunities creates a short list of people I am willing to confide in. If I need an outside perspective on my thoughts I go to my best friend..RP. I do often share on here but the only other person I really make myself vulnerable to is her husband.

For the most part I rely on myself. I still feel like a community of one but am happy in that.
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Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 01-12-2011 at 09:08 PM.
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