hi, i think that you all will have to make out a schedule. if the kids are older, then the parents will probably hv to drive them on certain nights. i think that the mom and dad will have to design the main schedule based on the kids needs then run it by you and you check out yourschedule.
my boyfriend and wife have four children and i do too. so a few months ago, we changed my night with him to wed. bcz he coaches on tues. and thurs nite i have all of my children. i felt it wasnt' enough time and wife and he fine w/ that so we'll meet also every other sunday morning or sat nights.
if u do make a schedule, it may take some tweaking, but i think it works out well for us...in fact, i'll even drive their kids to activities or they will take mine out. a schedule creates some normalcy in the chaos of all our children