I have been reading up on "secondaries" and I am understanding a little more what she is going through. Sometimes I feel a little off about HGF. She is a very needy person. If he doesn't talk to her for several hours everyday on cam then he must not be interested anymore. My H hates small talk and every time he tries to talk about something meaningful she changes the subject. She doesn't appear to want to hang out with him. When they do get together it feels to him that she is more about the sex and less about him. H was in a 4 year relationship before we met with a girl who stayed with him for the sex. She blindsided him in the end by telling him that's why she stayed with him. He loved her and it broke him. He doesn't want to go through that again. I asked him if he has told her how he feels. He said he isn't sure how to bring it up. I gave him a few suggestions and left it at that. I have a tendency of trying to fix things between them because I like her and love him. This is a conversation that I don't feel I should get involved in. No matter how much I may want to. I started acting like a buffer when she told me having another girl in the relationship made it nicer because we know how to talk to each other better. I really feel if they are both (her too) open to what their fears are or what bothers them then they could live a long healthy life.
His gf has asked him to not live the lifestyle he has grown to love. I fear this will cause resentment and could cause failure. Am I wrong in worrying about this?