In fact I think the primary reason for people seeking Mono Commitments is ..Security, Stability & Predictability. Its easier managed. But its not Mono they really want.. They want the assurance of S, S & P that comes with it.
But, true security can only come from within... No matter how much someone assures you, you have to love yourself from within to be secure.
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
If you think polyamory is about "playing a field" or not what some people want in the long run, then you either don't understand polyamory or have never met a truly polyamorous person.
I am completely monogamous and have a long monogamous history in marraige. Redpepper has alos been married for a considerable time, part of that mongamously. The three of us are not looking for monogamy in the long run because at the bare minimum that means someone loses out.
Even I don't want us to be monogamous because that would take away from her primary relationship and hurt her husband and son, both of which I care about intensley. We do want our poly relationship forever and are putting ourselves out there to achieve it.
Poly is not about searching. Poly is about loving more than one person and sharing for periods of our lives whether they be long or short. Everyone wants something differerent.
Living poly may be a stage...being poly is not.
And yet, I still find it hard to swallow.....luckily my heart is in the lead
I never said Polyamory is about playing the field.
I said, I see and note in the dating world what makes people jump from one to the other... the way people play... without knowing why they do so. Extremely unaware.
There are those that LATCH on to the security of a Mono Commitment in hopes of consistency. Some are too insecure to be alone or try & play the field .. or be honest to their poly inclinations..
They are those who PLAY with non committed poly gamy.. Enjoy the field without feelings.. aka Casual Sex & Casual / Short term things..
There are those who are serially mono.. but jump ship to ship to ship.. looking for something that can never be found..
A mix of several above things & what not..
Poly does not mean that you have to raise kids together .. does it? For some it does.. right?
I'd say.. being POLY is our nature. For each an expression of that may vary. We love our friends, partners, family, co workers, strangers.
We LOVE to LOVE.
So what is Poly?
It breaks through all norms of what can be called LOVE.
The question is.. do most people even know what LOVE is?
Love is not something to do with the other person.
Love is not a feeling.
Love is not something WE DO.
Love is our NATURE. Our True Nature..
When we allow that to come through...dont hide / resist our true nature, it makes us feel elated.
When it becomes part of us 24/7... then we are like a Buddha or Jesus or Krishna... who loves everyone & everything & entire universe unconditionally everywhere.
Love is the inner essence that rises within us... When you see an attractive person (whatever your orientation) the essence that rises is LOVE... and then when you want to POSSESS that person.. Own that person... that is NOT LOVE.
The same happens when you see a lovely scene in nature (sunset, mountains, beaches ..etc) or a little child or something Attractive..
Love is the feeling of BELONGING, yet one of FREEDOM.
When you FEEL LOVE.. You feel FREE.. Like a Bird.. Formless.. Free.. Like a Cloud.. Like the Wind.. Like a Bird..