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Old 01-11-2011, 04:49 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I don't really see this as anything worth bothering about. What, so you've got a "kinda hot" friend, with habits that turn you off, who has a crush on you, so now all of a sudden it's up to you to educate him about how you live your life while also making sure he knows there's no chance he's getting laid? To what end? I see no point in it. Just be yourself and don't worry about "freeing him from baggage." That's not up to you anyway. He might already have some hint or understanding of how you live your life, but even if he doesn't, who knows, why do you think you owe him any lessons or need to proselytize about polyamory? What makes you think any ignorance or misunderstanding of polyamory he may have is a burden? Why assume he's conflicted about having feelings for you? Maybe he's enjoying them and feels he doesn't need to act on them. Why shouldn't you just answer questions if he asks, like you do with everyone else? Might seem kind of arrogant to just start lecturing him like a missionary, don't you think?
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 01-11-2011 at 08:46 PM.
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