Originally Posted by XYZ123
Really? Because I am 30 (not THAT far from "modern" dating) and I always found that it was MONOGAMY which was expected. I'd go on two dates with a guy and he'd introduce me as his girlfriend. This always confused me and is what led to being a serial monogamist. I thought this was what was expected, what was normal, so this was what I had to be.
I'm also married so I have to be upfront from the beginning I guess. Though I have no experience with someone who doesn't know me as a married woman. So I'm sure I'll be questioning this myself should it happen.
Some people have said that by the third date you should have the poly talk. Some people say that in more modern dating, nonmonogamy is assumed until it is talked about. And when it is talked about, that is when the poly talk comes out.
Personally, I lean towards telling them once it starts to look like you want to keep dating the person. So it may take a few dates to know if you have the right chemistry.
I think Mono is what is wanted by people in the LONG RUN. But that is typically after people have played their field.. or do not have the opportunity/ ability to be playing the field.
i.e. Mono Commitment does not come right away/ upfront. In fact I know of women who would want Mono at the get go after first night... But would not hesitate to scope other opportunities & multi task big time.. Kinda seems like "shopping" for best buck.
Both sexes seem to PLAY the FIELD.. IF THEY CAN!... If you can milk it, do so.
If you cant then do what you can to get what you can.
Which is why it kinda scares me to put my feelings on the line.. until I know what LIES BENEATH in that person.