All of this is wonderful advise. I do try to be sure that I am open and honest about my feelings and anything that I see that might be a problem. I also try to make sure that all of the good aspects are pointed out. My H is more of a I feel what I feel don't know how to put it in words. He has been doing good though. He loves me and is afraid more than anything that something he will do will upset me. I can't imagine much that could upset me but I am sure we will find it along the way.
We have both talked to her about whether or not it is a love or lust thing on her end. She has told us both that she loves him so much it scares her. I just need to learn to trust her as much as I do him. She is a very emotional person and has a tendency to read into things. We have discussed this a few times and she is much better at coming to us when she starts feeling bad about something. I wish I could hear from others that have been through what she is going through. I have never been in a relationship with a married man before. Well as far as I know anyway lol.