Originally Posted by nycindie
Okay, I know this will sound like the dumbest question in the world, but I am still trying to figure out what is socially acceptable at a poly gathering. Let's say, hypothetically, that I went to a poly/sex-positive gathering, and had a little make-out session with one... or two... guys there. If that did happen... hypothetically... would those folks then expect to make out with me every time I show up at future poly gatherings? I mean, once you start something with someone, in an environment that is much more casual about these things, how do you back away if you realize that's not what you want? I keep imagining walking into the next event and being accosted. Hypothetically, I mean. And how do you handle it if the people you engage with are quite visible in the poly community?
Interesting question. Theoretically no, they shouldn't expect to make out with you again... but I have noticed at events where there are about an even number of casual sex poly people there and those of us that don't have casual sex that the ones having the sex are far more reserved and protective of their space than the ones who aren't... I am a big flirt and have no problem being cheeky and sexy (I'm good at burlesque for this reason), yet I don't have casual sex and EVERYONE knows it
I feel far more free to be myself because anyone I flirt with knows where I stand... I notice that those who are "available" are a little more unwilling to flirt and be openly sexual and I wonder if this is because they are available and any flirting might mean that something more could come out or it. I don't know. Just an interesting observation and my thoughts about it. I also know that when I did some swinging and did involve myself in casual sex that I too was far more closed and held back sexually, in case someone read into it. I'm not really answering your question am I?
Hope that it adds in some way though.