Within an hour of my husband telling me that this was killing him and he could no longer do it, I was talking to the other man, explaining it to him. He wasn't all that surprised. My husband has yo-yoed on this the entire time. That was in early December. I haven't talked with him since. I'm still friends with his wife so we both know of each other, but don't talk to each other. She is poly and totally ok with our relationship, so she is an easy person for me to talk with.
I told the other man so quickly because I was afraid my husband would take it back when he saw me upset and then when I calmed down, a week or so later, do this again. (Its happened) and I just couldn't deal with it one more time. It is so gut wrenching.
I'm currently dieing here... I sent my husband a link to a page with info I wanted him to read on poly, but I sent it to his work address!!!! 2nd time I've done that! That's bad, I get excited to find something that may help and I don't think to change the default email. Uggggg
By the way, we don't have internet (live out in the sticks) other than our phones. To set up this account I had to go to the library and do it on their computers bc registration requires you to type in the scrambled letters and my phone doesn't show it. I've received messages from people here and I'm having trouble trying to reply etc... Please have patience if I don't reply quickly!