That sounds a lot like where we're at right now Joyce.
I'm the poly one with a boyfriend.
BUT-now that Maca is "trying" it became evident that I never considered my needs in regards to how we move forward.
So when the question of using our room came up I just capitulated, without even considering the implications to myself or to Maca and my relationship.
THEN a few days later, it really clicked for me that this "compromise" wasn't just going to mess with my head, it was going to actively create negative problems in our relationship. So I put my foot down.
Not really a healthy way to handle it. I should have looked at my needs, the request, considered it thoroughly and then sat down to discuss with Maca what options there were to get his needs met without overstepping mine.
We actually got to that point last night. But,
that was why I felt compelled to say something to you two. It sounded like MORE of a misinterpretation between the two of you, ie not grasping the time frames that might make the change/learning/growth more feasible and functional; less like an actual inabillity to work together.
Good luck to you both.