I am so happy to read about your date to the orchestra together.
My husband and my OSO are friends but we have never all 3 been together since we became a V. We talk about going somewhere together to have dinner, about an hour away so we can be discreet. We had the idea the the guys wold ride up front and I'd be in the back, but I could stretch my legs out and into the space between them periodically (of course wearing fishnets, haha!) and reach over to rub their backs, and chat flirtatiously... We have yet to arrange the evening but hopefully it will happen soon, as I think it could help with the "walking on eggshells" feeling. We began our V arrangement on 10-10-10 (isn't that cool? We say it was three "10"s coming together
) so it's still pretty new to all of us and we are still in awe of ourselves for being so mature, creative, and respectful of one another's needs/feelings. Not only awe, but it still feels TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. How can I really be having my cake and eating it too?!
My OSO just got a new apartment and my husband does not want me going there. He feels I will want to "play house," and eventually I will want to leave and go live there instead. No matter how I reassure him, he says it is a very real possibility and he is adamantly opposed. So I agreed I will not violate his wishes. But it is difficult to meet at my house, since my OSO is a former neighbor, and we don't have any discreet way for him to enter the home.
My husband does say that if we BOTH go to his apartment together, that will be ok. So hopefully that will happen soon.
Because I would really like to spend more time with my OSO -- but if I can include husband, all the merrier! Then no one has to be left out, sitting home alone and lonely.
Husband has gone online, looking for a potential gf, but is running into similar problems I see other primaries here on the forum encountering. I think he really is just monogamous, and is not especially interested in finding a gf; he's happy as a clam being married to me but this new arrangement is throwing him for a real loop. I don't want him to be lonely
I am so glad to come hear and read others having similar joys and struggles. Thank you all so much for all you share.