Thread: A new adventure
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Old 01-10-2011, 12:23 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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It would SOUND that simple wouldn't it? And typically, that would be fine......However, she told US (my wife and I) in the beginning, that she was poly-fi, and she wanted to be with a couple. Well, New guy (I'll call him N) was involved in a very LARGE poly family, but has since left that dynamic. He told V, about 2 weeks ago, that he knew that she was poly-fi, he also knew that she was looking for a COUPLE, and that while he didn't meet that exact make up anymore, he was still interested if she was. She told him, at that time, that she was currently seeing a couple and that she was flattered. (This is what she told us anyway, and we have no reason not to believe her.....)She also told him that if anything changed, she would let him know. Now, after our spat, she suddenly wants to go on walks with him 2x a week. :/ Also, we had given her a necklace, which she wore up until this point, and now doesn't wear it at all. Interesting.....L and I do not trust N. We know him from a local poly discussion group, and also know some of his various beliefs with respect to poly. So....No, we don't trust him at all.


On the plus side, V opened up a little more last night to us and expressed some of HER fears. THAT was a nice feeling, even if her fears were unfounded. She fears that we will be (my wife and I) disappointed in her. Like she's not going to be enough or what we expect. I tried to let her know that we care for her the way she is. And not to change anything about herself. She said that it may be a long time before she will feel comfortable to move in with us. L and I both said that we didn't have any expectations about that. I told V that, while living together is a great goal, it is not an expectation or a requirement. She seemed somewhat relieved.

My wife and I have not yet told V that we are jealous of N, yet. We have chosen to sit back, and let this beautiful woman do as she pleases. She is single, afterall, and will attract lots of men and women. I can't help but think that she may be doing this as a defense mechanism so she doesn't get too close, too fast.
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