I got really jealous when my ex got a gf 11 years ago. I was naive, even tho I read the Ethical Slut. I thought we were going to have a fun 3some, get together from time to time. It was supposed to be beneficial for me, since I am bi. Instead my ex and the woman fell in love and she wasn't interested in me sexually.
I got SO depressed. I didn't turn to booze, but I was so out of it, unable to function, my ex arranged couples therapy for us with a poly-friendly therapist.
We did couples counseling with her weekly for a year. I also did individual therapy for 3 years. I went on Zoloft for a year and it really helped me have the energy to deal with it all.
The funny thing was, I was always the one to get crushes on other people.
Ultimately, my ex and I separated (after a 30 year relationship/marriage) for various reasons... we grew apart. The woman he'd had as a secondary in 2000 moved in with him 6 months after we split.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
"Master," (mono, 36), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years