One Way Street...
The past several weeks I have been browsing this forum and have found it invaluable. I am new to the polyamory scene and my current girlfriend has been flirting with the idea for a couple years now but is only trying it out for the first time with us. We have been together for about a year and other than the polyamory issue we have a very strong relationship.
I have a lot of deep seeded issues concerning rejection, being alone, etc from my childhood that I have spent years in therapy overcoming and slowly but surely I am. This is putting a hold on my relationship though. Once again I can't seem to jump past my insecurities and be happy with a girl that loves me. Luckily she is very reasonable and patient and willing to help me through this so we can experiment and have a successful relationship with each other and others. Lately though it has been seeming it is becoming a one way street.
She believes that her life is her life and our life is ours. That she need not tell me who she is with or what she is doing (these are just friends tho). That she doesn't want to spend our time talking about other people, and invading our time together. However, whenever I go out she questions me on where, when, who and etc. To me I feel that I respect her enough to tell her at least who and what and the fact that she does not feel the same makes my insecurities come to rise. That she is hiding things from me, and it is starting to make the relationship feel more distant to me.
I am writing this to you all to seek advice from other people that may or may not have been in the same boat. I want this to work, we love each other very much and both our lifestyles warrant a polyamory relationship. I'm just having a hard time with what is mentioned above and the general feeling of abandonment with her wanting to see other people.
Thank you, and have a great 2011