Swinging is playing with fire. I don't get how people do it. Sex leads to bonding for me, love follows often...
I think biologically, and generally speaking, men are more able to separate sex from love. I think a lot of swingers deny fond feelings for their steady sex partners to keep their marriages intact. But what do you do when those feelings become too strong to deny??? Then you realize you're poly as well as, or instead of, a swinger. If only one partner falls in love, you get a big old mess.
I'm sure therapy will help. Don't be afraid to be accused of cheating, if your therapist is aware of alternative love styles, you should not feel judged.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
A standing prick hath no conscience. --Bill Shakespeare
me: Mags, female, pansexual, 60, poly-dating, and loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 38