Wow....Not just looking for a unicorn....but a PURPLE unicorn with pink nail polish and gold teeth.
Hope you're not looking for an OPP. (one penis policy)
Too much planning can be a bad thing. Try just getting out there and setting "guidlines", but not "rules". Also, I would suggest being open to compromise. Putting it all in writing is too harsh and difficult. I guarantee you will encounter a situation which is not covered by your careful planning. When you do, you will either take advantage of it, or you will ruin the mood by saying "Hold on a sec, I have to call my wife to ask if it's ok.". Guidelines will allow you to make those decisions, and then learn form them as you go. rules in writting will not.
There is a lid for every pot...Sometimes even two or three...