IT sounds like you are making a good start. It's great to hear that you are creating boundaries and are making sure that while they discussed and created boundaries, that you also need to do that too. Keep at it. There is much to figure out as dynamics form between you and he and your new metamour. She could be in denial, or not all that concerned, or just busy... who knows what their time together is like also, maybe they just don't spend too much time talking because they do other stuff together... all will be revealed it seems and there is plenty of time to sort it all out.
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