I can relate. I just started dating again after my husband wanting a divorce and moving out. I am choosing to explore polyamory, and just started seeing a man who is fine with that. I have other flirtations and prospects, but no other lovers... yet. However, I have just been realizing that I don't need to be in a hurry to find an additional relationship. What I have with this man started out naturally, so adding someone else artificially just so I can say I'm "doing poly" is ridiculous! I don't want to go to events or parties where everyone is intent on just hooking up. You can date and go out without taking it very far, in order to feel like you still have your options open. Just ask people out and get to know them, you don't have to make every new person you meet a lover. And keep talking. For myself, I know it's up to me to prevent the backsliding into neediness and codependence, by focusing on me and my emotional health rather than the relationship itself.
The world opens up... when you do.
"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "