I want to post only to say, that in reading your posts you have used the words "i think" in reference to how she feels. This suggests that you do not actually KNOW how she feels.
Even if you leave her and enter into a poly relationship in the future, you will need to work on your communication skills!
TALK with her about ALL of this. Bring up conversations about how you feel, about your insecurities as well (b/c you have them... everyone does
My ex-husband cheated on me... TO THIS DAY I wonder if he had only been able to be honest with me, I could have been able to slowly enter into a poly relationship with him. I think he was poly, but did not know a word for it at the time. I know you are not cheating, but the point is that I would have considered it although he NEVER asked me in a serious manner.
I left him, and it hurt me, not because he had an affair, but because he lied alot.... outwardly, and he "lied by ommission". This is, in effect what you will do, if you don't express all these thoughts you have typed up on this forum.
She is your wife... you say thinks will work out if they are meant to be, but at least try talking to her... and if she isn't responsive the first time, try AGAIN. And AGAIN.
Eventually you have to make the decision for the benefit of your own happiness, but get rid of the "i think" and replace them with "I know".
I wish you luck...