RP, what about giving leo and his wife that space for a time. The couplecentric part might be what they need to reach comfort together. Their pace has been dual for so long, breaking that could really hurt one or the other. The couple part is a commonground to work up from, not necessarily the end goal. How many poly people started as couples and worked their way to independence.
I don't know how long you have given so this may be moot.
The intimate discretion is something that can be fixed I believe, regardless of their couplecentricness. This shouldn't be tied imo. Privacy in a relationship is important