On Jan 13 2006 I pledged to love a man I didn't completely know. But how many of us do? I thought marriage would be the bond that kept him from cheating again. It was his idea to move the wedding date up. He did propose, I thought we'd never get married.
Last year on Jan 13th, according to my journal, we went to eat with my in laws, came home, got in a fight and went to bed, we'd also had our divorce talk a few weeks prior (where we decided to give it a year and decide if we would stay married) and would have another the night of my birthday party that march.
This year on Jan 13th, I will celebrate 5 years of being the luckiest woman alive. I say I didn't completely know Karma on our wedding day because he didn't completely know Karma. Over the last five years we've grown a lot. As individuals and as a couple. We've discussed divorce a few times. Two of which I had already contacted my lawyer. At this time last year, I had no idea how to save my marriage. Because I didn't know what was wrong.
I knew something was wrong. Had known it for quite some time. I had all kinds of theories. We had all kinds of talks. They never seemed to resolve anything.
Little did I know as I cried myself to sleep on my 4th wedding anniversary, what the next year held.
After finding out about Cricket, and everyone else my husband had slept with, we had a marathon talk. I wanted all of it. And I got it. A lot of it hurt. But it was the truth. And that night, I started to get to know my husband again.
We've become a partnership again. So much so that we are now losing friends who don't know how to handle the dynamic of us being what we were when we first started dating.
We've started exploring our sexual relationship again. I finaly trust him to push me past boundries I set up long before I knew him, some I didn't even know I had.
We're both working on demons from our past. Working together to reach our goals, become better people.
Looking back I'm amazed we're still married. I don't honestly know how either of us put up with the other. But something held us together.
And I am so glad it did.
Still trying to figure out how to make our day special. We can't afford much. We have gift cards for dinner and a movie. I'm sure I'll come up with something.
Cuz he deserves something special. I'm a pretty lucky girl.