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Old 08-30-2009, 03:25 PM
lvfcs lvfcs is offline
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 12

Originally Posted by XYZ123 View Post

Are you in a triad (the three of you have a relationship together) or a V (he has a separate relationship with each of you)? Do you spend time alone with her? Have you tried speaking to her about this one on one?
Thank you XYZ. I'm on a V, only it is not as separate as it might be. I'm an hetero, so even if sexual encounters (and any other kind) are with all parties present, there's no interaction between her and I. That's something she has requested to enter on a poly relationship. So, even if it is unfair to me, am I supposed to accept it because it's a requisite to begging with? I'm not sure how the boundaries work here.

I have not tried to broach the subject with her because I'm not sure if I'm just trying to rush her on accepting things she must not feel ready, or I'm just afraid she might call a halt and I would loose him for good.

Originally Posted by XYZ123 View Post
You're being almost forced into the "unicorn" role to be with him when you may not wish to be their unicorn.
I honestly do not want to be anyone's unicorn, no matter my feelings for him.

Your insight on how it might look from the outside have helped me a lot! The difficulty about beggining on polyamory is to define what's 'right' or 'wrong' or what's 'normal' or not.
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