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Old 01-06-2011, 08:10 PM
Olderwoman Olderwoman is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
I am deeply offended that no one has said anything about my example of apologizing without being sorry:

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showp...&postcount=130

I assume if no one says anything, then no one disagrees with it; but please don't debate about it as though the example was never provided.

that is all.
I actually responded to that post but I hit an unknown button on my keyboard and it vanished.



I don't think you were "not sorry" I think you were sincere and you were expressing compassion for their feelings without assuming fault.

You may have been honestly sorry they were offended but you were not taking 'full' responsibility for it.

<My take on apologies>

Here are two good examples of these different kinds of apologies.

1. If a person's child was killed in a car accident unrelated to you:

"I'm so sorry for your loss!" <----You are sincere and are expressing sympathy and compassion.

The more deeply a person can understand and feel compassion for another person's loss or feelings, the more deeply and sincere the apology.

2. If you backed out of your driveway carelessly and killed someone's dog and felt responsible:

"I am so very sorry, It was all my fault, I should have been more careful." <---- you are sincere and expressing regret.

The more deeply a person feels regret, the more deeply and sincere the apology. We learn by our mistakes and when those mistakes cause us to change our life, they are good lessons.


</end>
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