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Old 08-30-2009, 11:55 AM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 900

It's good that you were able to cut it off because it wasn't what you were looking for and fantastic that you know where your boundaries are.

But honestly, I'm not going to go and judge someone because he wants to have sex with someone he's only been emailing. I'm not going to consider him a schmuck or someone who is incapable of intimacy or someone who "isn't doing poly right". There are people I've made great connections with online where we knew we would be having sex when we met. There are people who like to have sex with lots of people because of the connection that sex can create, even if it's not with the intent of creating a long-term relationship. There are people who consider sex with friends as natural as going out for coffee with them. Does this make the sex meaningless? Does this make them swingers? It's not for me to say because I'm not them. I can only speak for what I want and what's meaningful to me.

As so many people say here on this forum, there are lots and lots of ways to do poly. I'm sure there are lots of people who have questioned you for moving half way across the world to be in a committed triad with a couple you've only spent x amount of time with. They probably think it's not right because of how they see things. But you know better and you know what's right for you and you chose to go because it was right. The same reasoning applies to anyone who wants something different from something I want.

If it's not right for you, then fine. But I really wish people would stop assuming that if it's not right for them then it must be *wrong*.

(oh- and safe travels! You're probably flying now...)

Last edited by Ceoli; 08-30-2009 at 11:59 AM.
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