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Old 01-06-2011, 10:07 AM
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FlameKat FlameKat is offline
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Originally Posted by Olderwoman View Post
Originally Posted by Olderwoman
....So if you were truly offended and you are in need of an apology, I am truly sorry that you were offended.

No, Of course not. It is apologizing without assuming blame.
To say "I'm sorry" without really being sorry would clearly be dishonest.

(There is a difference between "I am sorry you were offended" and "I am sorry for being offensive.")

Yes, but it was implied that I was "being offensive" and that I should plead guilty, admit it and apologize. I didn't feel that I should own those perceptions,(out of respect for myself) and at the time, I wasn't sure if anyone was really offended, or if they were just playing the game.

I am now thinking that we've just about beat this subject to death.

I hope someone is beginning to understand what I am saying. If not, then I have failed.
Feel free to destroy the evidence....
If someone has been offended by what you have said, then you were being offensive to that person. It is not your responsibility to 'take the blame' for 'being offensive'. Acknowledging that perhaps what you said had caused someone to feel offended is different. And actually - looking back over all the posts... no-one actually asked you for an apology... that was your assumption.

You were 'taken to task' as it were for refusing to acknowledge that people HAD been offended, even though it had been pointed out - you refused to understand that they had been, or how.

Personally... you laughed that I found offense with a comment of yours I (and others) found sexist. Prior to which you had directed assumptions regarding my character and how I would direct my life following a question which was seeking other's personal opinions or experiences. After I found offense with the sexist comment you proceeded to call me 'delicate and fragile' because I stated that I was serious that I had found the comment offensive.
In your private responses to me you implied I was playing a game in order to get you to apologise. You also stated I was over-sensitive and dramatic.

All that and I still am not hurt, offended - yes. Expecting an apology - no. (Though I did accept the one you gave as you kept mentioning it and you refused to understand it wasn't an apology I was looking for) I was genuinely trying to understand how someone can have so little regard for what other people are saying... and so little care for how their own words affect the message they are sending.

From my perspective you simply do not care, either how you are perceived, or how you effect people.
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