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Old 01-06-2011, 04:53 AM
monolicious monolicious is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 20

Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
Hey - thanks Phoenix !

Now it seems that for anyone who places considerable value on independence, at least weighing the options of poly would make sense ?
But that doesn't seem to happen.............i.e. the point of this thread.

Nice to hear from your perspective ! Thanks again.

I don't know if it is independence as much as being an introvert for me (not speaking for Phoenix).

I am an introvert (meaning I gain energy from being alone but lose energy by being with people- especially a lot of people I don't know).

My poly husband is an extrovert (meaning he gains energy from being with people, but loses energy by being alone or with only a few people).

So, you can see why poly makes sense for us. I get to be alone more and he gets to be with a variety of people more.

However, where it gets difficult is that introverts can be more dependent on the few people they do have relationship with (because their support network tends to be much smaller- though very deep). Their relational energy is a precious commodity that they only invest in a few key people in their lives.

So, while I may need to be with my husband less than other married mono women, I often feel more dependent on him than the average bear.

Does that make sense?
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