I thought more about this subject. Interestingly, enough there are days we have quiet days at home due to my condition. However, we have the same thing happen for my daughter's health issues. There have been times I have read to her for 8 to 10 hours at a time, as she couldn't take the noise of the television in her pain. I think she feels a normal amount of wanting to please and care for me.
I also know she forgets she is adopted, she actually said the other day well if you two didn't fall in love I wouldn't be here. Then she said ahh, I gucess i would. I said yes, you would be on earth but not with your family. She laughed and said your right. We talk whenever, she wants about anything to do with her biological family. Including her asking me about her birthmother's using drugs. I explained to her it wasn't for us to judge. That we didn't really understand her birthmother's life or circumstances or why she made those choices. The only choices we understood was her love for our daughter, and her desparate want to keep her out of living a life in an out foster care.
We also from the time she was born read her this book called where were you the night I was born, by Jamie Lee Curtis. We would have stayed in contact
with her birthmother or spoken or seen her directly. She made the choices not to do those things. Perhaps to protect herself. I have no clue.
Whatever, decision you make I know that happy adjusted adopted children are possible for a chronically ill parent.
I feel the pain of other's who didn't have the openess we do.