I've been working towards becoming a psychologist myself. Have my degree in Developmental and hope to get my @$$ back in school after this baby to complete a masters. My husband gets annoyed when I "psychoanalyze" him. But he has come to my therapist with me and found it very helpful to us as a couple. It may be easier for you to both talk to an outside person than it is for her to feel you're using you "head shrinking" (another of hubby's gem) on her. Don't give up on the counseling idea. If she knows it may be the last resort and she wants to keep you, she'll take it.
Beyond that, if it's time you take a break I can't fault you. I drove my husband crazy when I was that insecure and I don't know how he got through it. I wish you the best.
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.