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Old 01-05-2011, 04:21 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Hey Euclid,

Ok..........whoaaaaaaaaa...........slow down here.

Let's get some facts straight first.

1. Sexual attraction/desire/needs do/does not equate love. The two are different but potentially compatible. Or stand alone.

2. No 2 people have the same desires and connection all the time in a relationship

3. The libido comment - you are male - get used to it. Poly is MUCH more than satisfying physical needs. Don't try to use it as an excuse or tool !

4. A need for attention and affection to validate your existence as a human is a dangerous crutch. Such are the roots of using and manipulating people to our own ends. This is NOT 'love' ! Poly or otherwise.

5. The philosophical 'concept' of polyamory has solid grounding. It's very easy for most people to relate to. But it requires a more evolved state than the majority of society has achieved. Not because they couldn't/can't but because it is not highly visible and therefore modeled in most of western society. So there's some serious relearning and reprogramming required.

Just because it 'feels' right isn't enough. And those 'feelings' have to come from somewhere besides your groin !

Does it make sense ? Yes

Is it desirable ? For many - yes. For all - no.

Is it as simple as making the decision ? NOOOOOOOOOOOO

It's a lot of work. The rewards can be great, but the struggle to get to them can be significant.

I applaud your curiosity. I'd say start studying - AND - involve your mate from the beginning. Learn TOGETHER. Make decisions TOGETHER, based on what's right for each individual. Build respect. Build integrity. You'll need all this -and more- going forward.

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