[redpepper]

It sounds kind of passive aggressive to me rather than assertive. It also sounds like your feelings are hurt and that he is pulling the wool over your eyes. If y9ou have agreed that he doesn't tell you stuff and does whatever then great, but this doesn't sound like it... it sounds like he has chosen that and informed you... no negotiation and therefore to me, no respect, no integrity, no empathy and no honest and open communication.... That is just not ethical poly... and to me, would not fly for one second. Sounds like some talking need to be done.