Originally Posted by redpepper
To me a mono person who sees their poly partner's relationship life as healthy and happy for them as they would see them healthy and happy having a hobby would be what I look for. It sounds kind of shallow from my perspective as a poly person, but I think it might work for a mono person. Does that exsist?!
Originally Posted by sage
RP: I get the comparison to polyamory and a hobby on one level but the emotional charge that is created when your partner's hobby is another love is too great to make it very useful for most monos.
yes I agree. I don't think I did my theory justice... I know that it is WAY to emotionally charge and I think that I didn't answer the question as I suspect you are actually looking for specific people rather than theories... but here goes anyway....
I think that if a mono person can relate to a poly person in terms of something like a hobby in that if they could see it (as a way to feel emotionally safe) as the poly person going out for a night of discussion on Nietzsche when the mono person is not interested in Nietzsche then it might help them come to terms with the jealousy and find compersion.
When I talk to PN about going out on a date it is like he loves Nietzsche too but its a certain aspect he isn't interested in. If I were to come home all happy and fulfilled by the discussion then he would be happy for me, because he gets it... when I come home from a discussion on Nietzsche to Mono, who knows nothing about Nietzsche, he is happy for me, but doesn't get it. He understands because he is passionate and fulfilled by other things, but doesn't entirely understand... does that make sense?
Ya, very different, but I hope a different take. It makes Mono my hero in the mono world really
Althought in terms of the Nietzsche thing... he doesn't get that I might want to orgasm at the discussion...
fair enough. I can orgasm discussing Decarte with him and be fine with that.