Originally Posted by CDarklock
... My wife wanted to have a rule that we couldn't be attached, that it always had to be "just sex". I don't believe there is any such thing.
I agree with you on that point. The reality is that we bring our whole selves to everything we do, even if those selves are fractured or fragmented on the observable surface.
I was rather taken aback by a guy I fell in love with last spring, who gave amazing tender, hot, kisses -- bunches of them -- but never really allowed himself to love
me in them, and broke off our relationship suddenly without satisfactory explanation. I think I brought my whole being into those kisses but that he did not. That he disconneced sexual pleasure, giving and receiving, from his heart. At least on the observable surface.
I think we're all whole and unfragmented beneith the observable surface even when we're fragmented or broken at that surface. I believe this because I've had opportunity to sink into those depths where I am always whole and unbroken. The ideal, I suppose, would be to merge the fragmented parts of ourselves into that core or essential wholeness. Certainly re-linking any breaks between our sexuality and our heart at the observable surface level would be moving in this direction.