View Single Post
Old 01-04-2011, 10:20 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,009

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
One thing I did decide is that I'm rescinding my agreement to use our room. After much consideration I've concluded that having a personal space of your own is a privilege that is earned through hard work, time and effort. If they need a place of their own (which is perfectly reasonable) then they need to put that hard work, time and effort in together.
I already put my hard work, time and effort in with Maca to earn our personal space and I already put my hard work, time and effort in with GG to earn our personal space as well.

Hopefully that decision doesn't erupt into a war. But even if it isn't taken well-I've decided that it's a hardline boundary for me and therefore non-negotiable.
Anyone who walks into a space changes its energy by their presence, so I am glad to read that you are making this a "hard line" boundary. I view my room as a sanctuary and am very careful of what kind of energy I let into that space. When my husband moved out, I took everything out of the bedroom, emptied the closets completely, washed the floors with lavender and eucalyptus, and the only things I brought back in were items that made me feel good when I saw them in there, stuff that makes me happy. If there is any negative thought I get from something, I take it out of my sanctuary. The people I let into my bedroom should not be a drain on me, nor there for any reason that does not add to and expand its value as a sanctuary for me. This is how I guard and maximize my happiness and good feelings in my space. I don't get it right in other areas of my life, but my room is extremely important because it's where I sleep and recharge/refuel/renew myself for my day, and for my life. And if there is any negativity in the energy of the space where I share sex and intimacy with someone, I feel off and something is out of whack, which isn't good for me. It has become my favorite room in my apartment now. Your reasoning about it is also very sound. You deserve to be selective about who comes into your space. Good for you!
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote