View Single Post
  #112  
Old 01-04-2011, 07:25 PM
Olderwoman Olderwoman is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 65
Default

Thanks redpepper.

Flamkat:
I have to laugh at you calling my style "abrasive" because I am so much more mellow than I could be or once was. I think I explained to you privately why I don't automatically chirp "I'm sorry" to everyone who feels offended by something I have said.

Allow me to give everyone some background on that life lesson.

One of my X-husbands was always putting me down and making me feel "wrong" and inadequate all the time. I lost my true identity in an effort to "be perfect" according to his specifications. I found myself apologizing all the time for my faults, mistakes and imperfections. Too much of that will literally drive a person crazy. I barely got out of that marriage with my soul, let alone my life. He was a master mind manipulator and even bragged about his power to "mind fuck" his mate.

Well as they say what doesn't kill you often makes you stronger. I learned oh so much from that relationship. It wasn't all bad, I learned how to be strong and assertive and confident.

I have a keen alarm that goes off when people try to manipulate me into saying "I'm sorry" by claiming to be hurt or offended, especially if I was attempting to be helpful. I am ruthless about being responsible for my own feelings and ruthless about holding other people responsible for theirs. When I truly and honestly FEEL sorry for some mistake I made, I will break my neck getting to that person to apologize and subsequently try to change my evil ways and become a better person.

In my life I have also had additional experiences with people who are master manipulating and totally dysfunctional psychopaths. These people should be avoided like the plague. They are equivalent to vampires.

A great book to read is "Games People Play." That book made a lot of people angry because it exposed them and spelled out their manipulation games.

Communication is a challenge for everyone, especially if they are not honest with themselves and others. I do have faults but I like myself a lot. I am a very happy person and I feel joy in my heart no matter what my daily life situation is like. That joy is a spiritual joy of profound freedom and peace. I am not insecure about who I am or what I believe.

I believe in freedom, honesty and self responsibility. I am human and I make mistakes. I try to overcome the tendency to make excuses and blame others but some things are automatic habits that go unnoticed, like statements like

"women don't like to share.."

Yes, I could have overlooked it. But in the aftermath of being scolded yesterday I decided to draw attention to it.

I'm sure that statement is true about some women and in some people's experience. The statement would have been better saying:

"In my experience I have found that most women, especially young women, don't like to share."

Yes this takes a lot more thought and more effort and I will try to put more thought and more effort into making true and more honest statements in any future posts.

I do joke around a lot and I like to use sarcasm sometimes. I will post <advance warning> tags if I feel they are necessary. I do have a sense of humor.

Thank you all for letting me express.
Reply With Quote