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Old 01-04-2011, 07:02 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marksbabygirl View Post
I just hope you're not being more than fair and end up compromising yourself or hurting yourself in the process.
I think I was being "more than fair" and I think I was compromising myself.
I've done a LOT of thinking and considering as I read everyone's responses.

Just after they met, Maca had asked to re-negotiate our boundaries. He said that he felt he had been too strict in making them (most of them he made, GG and I agreed to them) and that they put unfair restrictions on my relationship with GG and would put unfair restrictions on his relationship with anyone else as well.

So yesterday I did go throught he boundaries on my own and write out what things I thought should/could change. There are very few that I would like to see get more lenient, and there are some things that I feel need more strict clarification.
I sent it to both GG and Maca to consider so that we can all sit down and talk it over. GG read it last night and said he had a few things he felt needed to be added to the boundary list-so he's going to work on that for all of us to sit down and consider together.
Hopefully tonight Maca will get a chance to go over it and consider it, figure out what he'd like to add/change/delete.

I'm hoping that we can do those steps today so that we can iron out an agreement, at LEAST a preliminary "for the moment" agreement before the weekend.

One thing I did decide is that I'm rescinding my agreement to use our room. After much consideration I've concluded that having a personal space of your own is a privilege that is earned through hard work, time and effort. If they need a place of their own (which is perfectly reasonable) then they need to put that hard work, time and effort in together.
I already put my hard work, time and effort in with Maca to earn our personal space and I already put my hard work, time and effort in with GG to earn our personal space as well.

Hopefully that decision doesn't erupt into a war. But even if it isn't taken well-I've decided that it's a hardline boundary for me and therefore non-negotiable.
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