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Old 08-29-2009, 09:54 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Right here. Right now.
Posts: 652

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Originally Posted by lvfcs View Post
Right now I feel like I can not complain about how it makes me feel . . .
Why do you feel you do not have a right to be heard? You may be the newest member of the triad, but you didn't cede your rights as a feeling, thinking individual when you became involved with them, did you? You count too. If they love you, they respect you and value your happiness and well-being.

As for past hurts and betrayals: forgiveness frees all parties involved. Learn from the experience, resolve to do better in the future, and give yourself permission to grow past it. If you and he betrayed her trust, you cannot change that. But it sounds like that's not all the history you have together. Have the choices you've made since that time sought to heal what was damaged and regain what was lost? If so, look at the bigger picture and give yourself credit where credit is due.

Originally Posted by lvfcs View Post
I feel I will have no real say in the matter.
You have a right to have a real say in every matter that effects your life, unless and until you give up that right. In fact, as an adult you have the final say over your life. You also have a right to be respected as a person and to expect that your thoughts and feelings are respected, too.

Originally Posted by lvfcs View Post
I feel very deeply for him, but I can not help having doubts.
What are your feelings for her? What are your feelings about the whole situation?

It sounds as if perhaps you're putting up with being treated as "less than" for the sake of your feelings for him. If that's the case, only you can change things. And you do that by: 1) deciding what you really want, and 2) making a plan to get it and, 3) putting your plan into action. I know it sounds pretty simple, but in many cases I've learned the hardest part is actually deciding what I really want.

Best of luck to you, whatever you decide to do.

Last edited by Fidelia; 08-30-2009 at 02:40 PM.
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