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Old 01-04-2011, 09:35 AM
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FlameKat FlameKat is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: :P Cautiously looking around this new world that seems to fit...
Posts: 311

Speaking only for myself and at the risk of sticking my neck on the chopping block...

Originally Posted by Olderwoman View Post
I do want to be honest and genuine. I don't want to walk on eggs or be subject to being expected to be "dishonestly polite."

Again, I am not angry. (Brutally honest maybe, and a bit sarcastic.)
There are ways to be honest and genuine without being "dishonestly polite".

There are ways to apologise for causing offence - without apologising for what you said.

Please also remember that people posting on this forum are likely posting something that they are sensitive about, or something that is troubling or hurting them deeply. They are just as vulnerable as the people commenting, if not more so - as that is their issue that they (and you) are talking about.

There are other members on here who are brutally honest, opinionated and brash and rude and everything else under the sun (and I do include myself in those)... 9.9 times out of ten though, any offense or hurt is not intended and common courtesies are followed.

Mohegan and Redpepper both acknowledged difficulties they have faced with their communication style on this forum. I am newer to this forum than both of them and having had the benefit of being able to read through their struggles and get to know them (via their very personal posts) has meant that I now understand (to a degree) their communication styles, I understand they are both here to help themselves and, more importantly, help others, and take no offense - automatically. They also have a very deep respect (and I do not trust or respect easy) from me because of the effort they put in to be understood, and to not cause offence.

You do not have that privilege (from me) yet - not because you are unwelcome - but simply because you are unknown and we CANNOT be expected to know that you are sarcastic, and brutally honest. I have a feeling it is likely that your sense of humour is also (at this stage) a very unknown quantity.

For myself, I know I will probably still take some time to adjust to that communication style, as it is a somewhat abrasive style - particularly in written word.

Having said all that, genuine kudo's to you for making the effort to find out what is going wrong I look forward to "figuring you out" to the best of my ability
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my blog (non-poly) Pearls & Pixiedust

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