Oh boy can I relate to your need to "lick your wounds." I have been writing here for two years and have had to several times... I could point out exactly which threads and posts it effects me so much. There have been times on occasion that it has been about sarcasm on my part also... mostly my hot head getting the better of me or someone who either doesn't agree with me, or thinks I talk to much or disagrees with how I process information.
You know what though, I have also, a million times over all that, had amazing connections and started really good friendships with people here. This place has got me through my entire relationship with Mono... we wouldn't of had a leg to stand on two years ago if it weren't for here, seriously. Now he lives with us and things in my life are incredible. I owe a lot to this forum and work hard to preserve the atmosphere here because it has worked like this so far... and believe me I and others have been slammed for that... as some would prefer a blood bath to get stuff sorted out.
Really, this place is not for everyone. It has not been a good time for all, but no one place is good for everyone... I just hope that this is a place where we get to the bottom of what poly is about and skip the drama of trying to understand one another... really its just best to be tolerant, patient, find out what is going on for one another and really listen. All of that doesn't mean responding all the time; but its part of poly, to me anyway.
We don't get to be face to face, so we have to write on here as if no one knows us and know one sees our face. It's kinda cold to do that and can be flat and humourless but once we are known better on here some humour and warmth comes and is accepted...
Its good to see you've made yourself vulnerable here Olderwoman. I applaud you for that...its very brave and I respect that you have reached out. I look forward to getting to know you better