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Old 01-03-2011, 11:18 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post

So, how do I “manage” my tendency to fail at setting in place the necessary boundaries I need now? One of the boundaries I need is the freedom to build my friendships at my pace. How do I put that boundary in place without slipping into Maca’s tendency pattern, and doing something that would inhibit them being “real” and having “security” in their relationship?

This is the question of the day for me.
Hey LR,

Great to see another of your deep, thoughtful posts.
Always enjoy.

Boundaries ?
Why ?

This is HIS relationship - right ?
Why are you afraid of the pace that HE wants to progress ?

You can set your own pace in your relationship with her - if it even progresses that far. Your own comfort level.

I say all this assuming certain safety & family dynamic guidelines haven't been violated. If they have I didn't pick it up in your writing. (I'll go back and re-read)

Remember how we always talk about the multiple relationships involved - I think Ari alludes to this a lot......

Him & Her
Him & you
You & her
All 3 of you together.

*** 4 relationships ***

Of course this gets compounded because of GG, but I didn't pick up that he was overly concerned. ??

Does this help any ?

Easy to lose sight of fundamentals when stuff is in our face - right ?

You know how to do this sweetie

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