Hmmm. I think a great many of our rules are made to protect our children. When we started dating we were both in other relationships and there really weren't any rules other than complete honesty. Now we have to have them when considering any others, at least until the new relationship is secure. Think of it more as our kids are primary and we have to make rules for our relationships to be sure they aren't hurt or neglected by the other relationships or our reactions to them. There are some issues regarding our own insecurities when NRE comes into play, of course. But we'd never make rules to bind or use another person as a means to enhance our relationship, though I'd hope she would. We are quite secure, ever after the first other relationship didn't work out. Otherwise we would never consider poly again. Also, we are simply not looking, not hunting, not concerned with when or if a new relationship happens. We are just open to it. So we wouldn't expect anyone to wish for a relationship with us that didn't already understand and feel comfortable with our rules. And we wouldn't push, nor disrespect any rules she might have for herself.
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.
Last edited by XYZ123; 08-29-2009 at 07:21 PM.