TL I am so sorry for your experiences, but I am glad you've found your birth mother.
If we adopt we've already dicsussed being open about it. I have no desire to hide that. And we just talked about open adoption last night. I think as long as the birth parents can handle it, I'm okay with an open adoption. My fear is a parent who always regrets the decision and puts the child in a place where they feel torn between us and them. I have several people in my life who were adopted and found out later and it had a big effect on them. I don't like secrets, of any type.
We also talked surrogacey last night. Which is what I am leaning towards at the moment.
TL- I love hearing about nature vs nurture. Karma didn't meet his dad until he was 24, right before we got married. I could not get past all the similarities. The even have the same speach pattern! He is much more similar to his dad than his step dad. It just amazes me.