Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
Evidently it's not so "ok" with her.
Because the post I put in here, was my blog. She (unbeknownst to me previously) is following my blog.
The post set off a flurry of wildfire yesterday. Her take was that I was degrading her and she was "unwelcome". I've re-read what I wrote and I don't see it. I've also heard feedback from a number of others who read the blog religiously and without knowing that she was upset, they all that it was great that I put all of the thought into a post that was clarifying my needs/desires and stated that my goal was to find a compromise that allowed for them to move at their pace, and me/her to move at a different pace.
WTF? I don't see how you were being unreasonable at all. In fact, you were willing to bend more than many would. I'll suspect that her emotions are running high after NYE and it may be clouding her objectivity to your post. That and she hasn't read enough of your blog or spent enough time with you to understand that what she may see as harsh, is just bluntness.
Maca didn't sidestep because she was upset, which I appreciate. He was very clear with me that he thought what I wrote was very reasonable and sensible and helpful to him and her.
I totally got your post about people seeing the real you and how it can take years to even feel comfortable with others. I came to a realization a few months ago, that I don't really have but one true friend. There are people who I have know for 10-15 years, and yet if I up an moved tomorrow, I probably wouldn't stay in contact with them. Your post gave me some items to look at in myself as to the reasons why I keep everyone at arms length. Even as I look back on my relationship with my one true friend, I kept her at a distance for years before things finally gelled between us.
We each have certain things that we consider private and feel utterly betrayed when that privacy is breached. It doesn't matter if someone else thinks it's silly or irrational, there is always reasons and that privacy should be honored. When I thought my husband had brought a lover home to our house (cheating), I was understandably upset, but it was the thought that someone had been in MY bed that sent me into anxiety attacks. I had never had anxiety attacks before, so this was something new to me. I couldn't even sit on the bed to put my shoes on, much less sleep there until after we started therapy. It didn't bother me to sleep on the couch, where if this person was in my house, they would have also been.