Originally Posted by myelsewhere
DH has encountered the issue with meeting females in bar/social situations who are all over the idea of seeing/hooking up with him, as long as they think it's cheating. Once he mentions that I know, and that I'm okay with it, then they're not interested . . . Why do you think people act like that about the cheating vs. poly admission?
The first thing that pops up in my mind is that, if a guy is married and cheating, it would seem more likely that he wouldn't have as many partners as a guy who has permission. Of course, that's not necessarily true, but it takes so much time and energy to run around on the sly and keep secrets. So, if everything's out in the open, there's the notion that it's a free-for-all happening all the time and the guy is just getting some wherever and whenever he wants. So if someone very conditioned toward monogamy is worried about STDs or competing with others' affections, they'd probably rather do a married cheater than a poly guy.