December and Ringing in the New Year (1)
So first of all happy new year to all. Wasnít quite what Iíd expected, in fact the 1st itself was rather miserable, but Iíll get to that later. Itís been a very busy month for me, so busy Iíve been meaning to post for a while now but just havenít found the time.
Where to start. Well, after having talked with my mom and broken down about several things to her she ended up using her HBC points to get me an HBC gift card for $100 so I could buy gifts for my immediate family. I decided to use up my points as well and got a $10 gift card from it, also found a gift card with $3ish on it in my wallet. So after buying all my gifts I only had to spend about 30c out of my pocket which was definitely manageable. So I got gifts for family at least. My mother managed to drag me to the kitchen and do some baking with her to be able to give out baked goods to friends as gifts, so we made giant chocolate chip cookies and caramel popcorn. So at least my gift dilemma got taken care of, and I appreciate my Mom for doing that for me.
Work kept me insanely busy but I still found time to spend with John. Now before I go on, those of you who have met me at the womenís group may remember I mentioned a woman before whom I am very close to and consider my sister. She is not the person Iím referring to in this post. To keep it straight Iíll call her Beth. So to continue, a few days before Christmas John and I were talking. Heíd been telling me for some time now about a girl that was important to him, Iíll call her Dara. Heís known Dara since long before he met me and has talked about her several times before, and I knew theyíd had a bit of textual play every now and again. Well Dara had come home from college for the holidays and hadnít been in touch with John for a while. John and I were talking and he mentioned he hasnít realized how much heíd missed her till she suddenly was around again. He told me the two of them had had some fun via texts and mentioned that if the opportunity came up in the future to meet her in person heíd like to take it and that they probably would have fun *wink, wink, nudge nudge, ya know what I mean?*
Anyways, while heís telling me all this I could hear the nervousness in his voice and he told me he was pacing. I was sitting on my bed listening at the time and smiling. I found it quite cute. I found I felt a teeny bit of jealously that I couldnít consciously rationalize and it quickly passed, and I was okay again. Not the first time Iíve felt that, when heís done hypnosis with others before I felt it, but it never lasted, and in the end I could never rationalize why I felt that way, because consciously it doesnít make sense why I should, and it always passed. So I asked him why he was so nervous in telling me about this and he said he didnít know, that it was one of those things he was feeling but couldnít rationalize. We talked about it and the whole while I was sitting on my bed smiling. I found it very amusing and reassuring at the same time. He mentioned that even though he identifies as poly heíd never been in a poly relationship before, well neither have I, so itís a first for us both, so perhaps it was because of past relationships expected to be monogamous that even though he knows I am poly, it was making him nervous. I reassured him that I was totally okay with the idea and that I knew he cared about her alot by the way he talked about her in the past. None of it bothered me and I told him I was smiling.
While he doesnít see a traditional relationship with Dara working in the long run but he cares about her alot and described wanting to still have some form of relationship with her which I provided the label of her being a secondary. In the end he didnít hold onto the nervousness and it was a productive conversation and we were both happy about the outcome. Later he even joked that if he mentioned it to other guys ďYea Iím seeing this other girl and my girlfriend is okay with itĒ that the other guys would respond ďI hate youĒ, ďCan I have your life?Ē and we both just laughed it was very funny. It also made me smile though cuz that was the first time heíd ever called me his girlfriend. So that was an interesting poly experience for us both in our first poly relationship.
Alternatively Iíve an airline credit to use up by May from cancelling my flight to the US for the wedding I cancelled and Iíve been tossing the idea around of flying back to Alberta to visit friends I havenít seen for 3 years. There is someone there that I care for a great deal, for reference this would Edge, I mentioned him in my first blog entry. I donít see Edge and I being anything more than secondaires to one another but I still care for him alot and wouldnít change that ever. Iíve been in touch with Edge over the years via imís and talk to him a couple times a week. If I went to visit there is a possibility he and I could end up having some bedroom fun as well. I have mentioned this to John as well and he was amused as well, but he also knows that Edge is someone I care for highly as well, so it has been an interesting month in terms of Poly situations and discussions that have arisen.