Originally Posted by redpepper
I would agree with you Ceoli if it were an established poly couple. When my husband and I were starting out we made rules to protect our relationship and ourselves. I would think if I were looking again that would be very different now that we have experienced ourselves within poly. I have different rules for my husband than I did before and I am far more relaxed now that I know what we are capable of and I know he isn't going to leave me.
I'm not saying that it's wrong to have rules or anything like that. I'm just saying that I don't want to be involved in such a situation because it would probably end up being a very unfair situation for me as the person outside of the couple (whether I'm dating one or both of them). I would rather not bear the brunt of the issues that they're trying to work out. When entering a relationship, I don't want to be the tool a couple uses to work out the issues of their poly explorations.
Fortunately, I don't have to because I choose not to be involved in such situations.
I also think it isn't always about being established in poly for the couple, but it is always about being established as a couple. The couple that I'm dating now is very new to poly, but because of the security in their relationship, it creates an open and secure situation for me.