View Single Post
  #24  
Old 08-29-2009, 06:19 PM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 900
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I would agree with you Ceoli if it were an established poly couple. When my husband and I were starting out we made rules to protect our relationship and ourselves. I would think if I were looking again that would be very different now that we have experienced ourselves within poly. I have different rules for my husband than I did before and I am far more relaxed now that I know what we are capable of and I know he isn't going to leave me.
I'm not saying that it's wrong to have rules or anything like that. I'm just saying that I don't want to be involved in such a situation because it would probably end up being a very unfair situation for me as the person outside of the couple (whether I'm dating one or both of them). I would rather not bear the brunt of the issues that they're trying to work out. When entering a relationship, I don't want to be the tool a couple uses to work out the issues of their poly explorations.

Fortunately, I don't have to because I choose not to be involved in such situations.

I also think it isn't always about being established in poly for the couple, but it is always about being established as a couple. The couple that I'm dating now is very new to poly, but because of the security in their relationship, it creates an open and secure situation for me.
Reply With Quote