Originally Posted by whatamIdoing
I understand where you are...
I love B with my heart and soul but thankfully for us I could never lie to him... we were swingers before J came into our life... and I was open and honest with B from day one about "wanting to do J"... and B always said go for it.
It was almost a joke... but then it started happening and J and I have developed a deep bond... and we are friends... I have spent time alone with him with B's knowledge and consent... this is KILLING B and we have had discussion upon discussion about this... BUT I NEVER CONSIDERED LYING TO him.
I want to direct your attention to your statement: "B always said go for it.."
If Be did not MEAN it, B should not have said it. Perhaps B needs to deal with the feelings and growth that comes with being poly.
I don't think you should waste energy feeling so bad for B or let yourself be so manipulated by B with these guilt trips. Remember B said "GO FOR IT." So if I were in your position, I would take the advice and "go for it".... and stop letting B manipulate the situation.
I apologize for getting off the topic of the OP in this thread.