My gf and I have been together for 2 years. We tell each other everything. We share til it hurts (and it does hurt bad sometimes) and always come out closer and stronger each time! We do try and be tactful and use "I statements." I've been trained as a counselor and practice that kind of communication in my volunteer work, and used it with my kids and everyone I know, as much as possible. Sometimes I slip.
I hid a lot of things from my ex (30 yr marriage) b/c I knew it hurt him, but he always suspected things, even imagined worse things going on (like i was cheating, wanted to leave him) than was really happening (crushes and mild flirtations occasionally).
I determined never to hide anything real about myself from a partner ever again. I get compliments from men all the time on ok cupid for my candidness (the info on my profile and how I talk in chat). Partners who want a lasting relationship will accept all of you, good and bad, and love you more in the end, I am finding.
No one will ever know you completely. If you are living and growing, you're a work in progress and are a slightly different person each day. But it's great to keep you lover informed of your progress, as you come to understand it and be able to express it, so they know who they are dealing with as much as possible.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
In a newish relationship with Steve, (34, poly)
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years