I feel for you - truly. It seems you are really doing a stand-up job in working on this - and yourself. You lay right out there that you have some 'issues' of your own that need work - as most of us do. But it's hard not to get sucked into the "problem" and lose focus on that.
Keep the focus !
It's kind of like going for a drive way out in the country, blowing a tire, and having no spare. All the childhood fears of wolves and bears come roaring back. But focusing on the animals that are only in your imagination at this point and NOT focusing on what you are going to do to get out of the problem means you attract what you fear most - eventually.
Keep moving. Keep focused.
Fight predators WHEN they appear - not before. Chances are the most you will run into are squirrels.